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my life is so boring i was just thinking about this and it suddenly hit me how much of a scrooge i have become and wow fuck erm this is just a list ok

• i want something fun and exciting to happen this summer i dont want to spend it indoors alone lol how dumb when its my fault that im alone 
• im going to try and get my old friends back i neglected them so fucking much because im an idiot and luckily they’re forgiving and lovely and recently i have been with them a lot more i like my life with them idk like today i spent nearly 2 hours with them just cotching and laughing and it was jokes and chilled and i miss them so much
• i need to get out of the house you know arrange things with people to do things with groups like last year we had bare days where we would go to hyde park and chill and have picnics or to aku’s and chill and eat and it was so cute and lovely
• im going to try and not be miserable so much lol i like it but i hate how lonely it leaves me so idk maybe try and improve my personality a bit???
• i want to meet/hang out with new people to sort of have a wider range of friends to expand my knowlege of people idk that sounds really gay doesnt it
• going to try and see more live music it makes me happy i know its not an essential part of life but its fun and good and yes
• try and get some sort of a job so i can pay for my own stuff without worrying my mum so much like pay for a few of my driving lessons (gulp) when i start etc　

idk if this applies to everyone but i think the reason i’m attracted to guys who show some talent (like playing instruments, writing, singing etc) is because the only way someone could have those talents is through commitment and passion and i think thats important not only in life but in relationships and also having that talent that he possesses shows that he is capable of loving something and thats another important thing for me not just guys in bands (because every girl i know says “if you’re in a band you’re automatically more attractive) yes this might be the case but for me if you can write poetry or songs it also shows intelligence and that to me is wonderful so i think that when you come across someone i like it’s not only their looks/charm that draw me in, its their whole being and their mind that i really enjoy because i love the mind and the spirit of humans and i think its cool to really connect with someone on a spiritual level and that to me is a soulmate and thats why i think some marriages last longer than others, like some last a week and some last a life time